Run. Don't Walk.

So visitors from out of town (Miami, actually) are staying in my apartment. For three days. I really don't care to get into the details of who they are, or how they might possibly be related to me. But without fail, whenever my son is under the care of the Primary Adult Visitor (PAV), he either misses a meal like dinner or gets injured out of pure negligence.

Exhibit A: "Mom, PAV walked me across the entire strip of the beach for four hours straight and I am sunburned and I can't see and my skin is peeling off and I am crying and I think I might need to go to an emergency room now but PAV thinks I am joking." A loves the beach, and is doctor-phobic.

Exhibit B: A sleepover at 9 p.m., I get a call. "Mom, PAV didn't offer me dinner." Oh yeah? "And I'm hungry. She gave us breakfast cereal." This happened not once, but twice. PAV confirmed to me that she fed Lucky Charms to the kids for dinner.

So here they are, in New York City, and PAV has asked to include my son in their sight-seeing activities today. I gave him cash to buy a meal (I've learned from past experience, right?). And he's sufficiently bundled-up against our mild winter weather.

I called PAV an hour ago.

Hi. Do you have a plan for your outing this evening? Any idea when you'll get back?
"Um, I dunno."
I see. Well, I'd really like A to be home by 9 p.m. [Because I am afraid that he will get frostbite/hungry/stolen by a stranger/or some other ill might befall him due to your negligence if he's not here by then] Will that work for you?
"Um, I guess. I dunno. Is it okay if I call you?


Then A called me. "Mom, we haven't found a place to eat," he reported back. I beg your pardon? "Do you know where we should eat? PAV has no idea where we should eat." In NEW YORK CITY???

It's been 10 hours since they left my apartment. Ten hours. They have since not eaten. A. Thing. This is after having gone to Chinatown, and all the way to Lower Manhattan, climbing on a Circle Line boat, going to Lady Liberty, and walking around the museum on Ellis Island, and now hanging out in Times Square ("It's so pretty here!" reported PAV to me).

I would like to add, there are young children in PAV's care.

Darling? Can you please do me a favor? Get to the closest subway station. And come home. Thank you. See you soon.


Becky said...

Update, please! I'm having the vapors here just contemplating this (you can take the girl out of NYC but you can't take NYC and its attendant fears out of the girl...)

la Maitresse said...

Last night, after A's 10-hour food withdrawal, he returned home via the subway. PAV and her entourage decided to follow. On arrival, I immediately fed him. I offered food to my guests, but they declined.

Sometimes I wonder if they are a human species related to the Chia pet. No food, thanks, just water.

Today, I decided to accompany A, PAV, and Co. I took them to Central Park's Wollman Rink for some ice skating. Afterwards, around lunchtime and while strolling on Fifth Avenue, I asked the kids if they were hungry. Two of the kids said they were. PAV said she wasn't, so that was the cue for her kids to not eat.

That was where I politely excused me and A and we headed away for lunch.

Becky said...

Thanks for letting me know : )

How can you NOT eat in NYC? I would give an arm and a leg for a Greek coffee shop omelet and fries on a weekend afternoon...

la Maitresse said...

I guess your sitemeter knows where I am, heh, heh...