no b.s.

Alexander and I are pretty honest with each other. When I sense A might be fibbing about something really minor ("I did brush my teeth!") I call him on his untruth, directly. I have not had major issues with A because, I believe, of my "directness" or, "no b.s." policy.

However, if I , Maitresse, contradict myself, and A does catch me, I make the appropriate correction. Zeh tough zis honesty stuff.

Human beings have a tendency to lie. It is our job to correct each other and maintain a little integrity in ourselves.

Lying, uncorrected, inevitably leads to a lifetime of dishonest behavior. I do not mean that anyone is "bad" for lying - even (ahem) Presidents lie to achieve their aims - but why surround yourself in a theater of dishonesty? Integrity is so much better and sweeter. Really.

Besides, lying leads to far worse behaviors into adulthood.

Yes, I will go there. Cheating on exams. Making appointments and "forgetting" about them. Letting an addiction "slide" ("I only drank two glasses" when one has actually had four). Cheating on resumes ("two years" instead of "6 months"). Lying in job interviews. Lying on the job. Believing one's marriage is O.K. While cheating on one's spouse.

And on and on.

A friend of mine likens such behavior - such acceptance of dishonesty - like having a delicious dinner with your most intimate friends, while a freshly-cut rhinoceros head sits on the dinner table, bleeding, and everyone continues dining, ignoring the blood dripping down the sides of the tablecloth and onto the floor.

Integrity isn't easy, but correcting our kids is a "good" - creating the foundation for a b.s.-free quality of life. We just need to be open to the fresh daily reminder of our own need for correction when our children point out our own integrity "issues."

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