To my mother and any other puritan: Don't read this. Thank you.

For those visiting for the first time, I am a single parent who would very much like to meet a guy for a long-term (read: LONG TERM) relationship.

And, apparently, I've been afforded a label by my co-workers at the satellite radio company in midtown where I work. I found this out while having drinks after work at a boutique hotel (read: chi-chi furniture and $40 drinks in the garden space) with office pals. I knew trouble would begin when we decided to play the game of "What do you think of me?" and everyone was invited to participate. One guy and one girl played the "game." We had all had at least one drink.

My turn. I was nervous.

Me: Um, what do you and the office, in general, think of me?
Guy Co-worker: Hottie.
Me: Wha?
GCW: Hottie.
Me: [turning to other guy from office] Is this true?
Other Guy from Office: Yeah. You're the office hottie.
Me: Um, how many guys at work deem this to be true?
GCW: Um, I don't know. I've talked to too many guys. They all say the same thing.
Me: What about BS? Does he think that, too?
GCW: OMG, yes.
Me: Okay. Wait a minute. I am an office hottie, and BS, who I actually like, hasn't asked me out? WILL ANYONE ASK ME OUT ON A DATE?
GCW: You're the office hottie. We wouldn't dare do that.
Me to GCW: Would you want to date me?
GCW: OF course.
Me to OGFO: And you?
OGFO: Are you kidding? Just ask me to.

This is a totally weird revelation to me. Maybe all my jogging in the mornings is finally paying off. And then there was that beyond-normal-for New York City-weirdness that happened on my way to the hotel. An NYPD cop actually said "Hi" to me as I walked past on the street. Just like that. "Hi." Like that "Hi, baby" sort of "Hi." Maybe Hans Christian Andersen was right. Ugly ducklings get their day. But no dates?

Me to girl office worker: Um, what do you think of me?
GOW: You're my homegirl. You're fun to hang out with.
Me: Thanks. You're fun to hang out with, too. And, you're hot! HAH HAH HAH!!!

Which is why LaMai believes in the truth in the Pussycat Dolls song Buttons:

I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin' (uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I ain't seen nothin' (ah)
I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin' (uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I ain't seen nothin' (ah)

Typical and hardly
The type I fall for
I like it when the physical
Don't leave me askin' for more
I'm a sexy mama (mama)
Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna)
What I wanna do is bring this on ya (on ya)
Backup all the things that I told ya (told ya, told ya, told ya)
You've been sayin'
All the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here
To help take this off

Sigh. So true.

Back to writing my IHIP. Gotta love homeschooling.


mrspilkington said...

just found your blog while doing homeschool in nyc research. hope the hottie status takes you far!

la Maitresse said...

It's tongue-in-cheek.

Princess Ennui said...

OK...tongue-in-cheek...but I would have voted you office hottie as well.

la Maitresse said...

Thanks, Princess.

And I know that you "get" me.

Have some more Swiss chocccckieee....