Are you s&*%%ing me?

A signed up for a theater group run by a homeschooling parent. This weekend being the religious holiday, I have not checked e-mails since Friday evening. So I was surprised when I read this e-mail today for the theater group which begins on Tuesday:

"In addition to any scenes and/or monologues you would like to suggest we do for Homeschool Theater Players, please get copies of the following scenes (all are available through the NY Public Library) and bring them with you on Tuesday. Get familiar with them and be prepared to read them at the rehearsal. You DO NOT have to memorize them.



For the men: The Foreigner, by Larry Shue, Dramatists Play Service, Inc. - Act I, scene II ( p. 37) right after Betty enters w/ second tray, starting with where she introduces Charlie to Ellard "Oh! You wudn't up last night, was ye?..." until Catherine's entrance.

Cyrano de Bergerac, by Edmond Rostand (I have the Signet Classic translation by Lowell Bair, but I don't know what is available in the library system) - Act II, scene IX, complete



For the women: Much Ado About Nothing, by William Shakespeare - Act III, scene I, from Hero "Good Margaret, run thee to the parlour..." to Bianca's "What fire is in mine ears?"

The Children's Hour, by Lillian Hellman - Act II, scene II Mary and Rosalie, from Rosalie's entrance - Mary's "Don't forget that." right after Mrs. Tilford's entrance.



For everyone: The Actor's Nightmare, by Christopher Durang, Dramatists Play Service, Inc. - until Voice "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please?"

Thanks,

Homeschool Theater Players Coordinator.

Okay, someone must lead a life of leisure to assume we actually have time to accomplish 1) acquiring the plays, and 2) having the performers become familiar with the scenes by Tuesday.

I think my e-mail reply read, "Erm, this is offensive to me." I don't think I've ever written one of those.