schlepping around, LaMai style (and dreaming in Gwyneth)

Today was a travel-heavy day. In fact, all our days now will be travel-heavy days, now that we belong to and participate in NYCHEA. On Monday there was Genetics class and writing class and later a teen meeting in the evening. We traveled from Brooklyn to Queens to lower Manhattan and...well, it was a lot of travel.

Last night I dreamt that I had to babysit Gwyneth Paltrow's baby. And breastfeed the infant. The scariest part of the dream was that I couldn't remember the infant's name, or where I had (mis)placed her. "Is it Fiona? Apple? Nectarine? It's Apple. That's it. Apple. Okay, where is Apple? Where did I put her? Gwyneth is on the way now. I've got to find this infant. Where. Where. Where. Apple? Apple!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPLE!!!!"

Today A had bar mitzvah ("b-m"") prep and I had to check out the b-m space. I went to a lower Manhattan location not far from CBGB's. It is a loft. Not the same loft I posted about before.

Loft Lady Giving Me The Tour [LLGMTT]: "It used to be a brothel."
Me: Really?
LLGMTT: "Yeah. There used to be all these little rooms all over the space, and apparatus attached to the walls. We didn't know what the apparatus was for."
Me: This place is amazing. Are those windows original? They're amazing.
LLGMTT: "Yes but we added the tinting."
Me: Wow. And the flowers....Can I have those, too?
LLGMTT: "Sure. You know, we get a lot of weddings and corporate parties here."
Me: Oh. Really?
LLGMTT: "Corporations are evil, I know. We honestly should bring back crack to lower Manhattan."
Me: You have kids?
LLGMTT: "Yes. One. In kindergarten. At the [insert elite kindergarten school name here]. You and I...we're the same age, aren't we?"
Me: I think so. [I offer my age to her] So, is it okay if the Sick F*cks play here? They do this routine called "Spanish Bar Mitzvah!" They're friends of mine, and...
LLGMTT: Sure. You'd have to rent the stage, though. And for your menu choices...any idea?
Me: Um....Asian and East Indian?
LLGMTT: Sure. We do fusion menus all the time.

It used to be a brothel. Corporations are evil. We do fusion menus all the time.

Me: Um, can you send me the proposal ASAP? I think we'll book it.

Later, I run home and get A ready for his Law Class in SoHo. I drop him off but notice he's the first one there. Five minutes later, most of the teens from Monday night's teen meeting appear.

"Oh, hi Alex," they chime. Homeschoolers sure do get around New York.

After class, A tells me he studied the same Tort cases that I did in law school. Hammontree v. Jenner. Escola v. Coca Cola Bottling Co. of Fresno.

Did I know that there was a lawsuit where a woman defendant drove into a truck thinking the headlights were directed by G-d, causing her to accelerate into the truck, thinking she would become airborne like Batman?
No, I didn't know that.
"The truck driver Plaintiff won."
Thank G-d.
"The professor is teaching us issue-spotting. He's so cool. And we can intern there later if we want. I think I really like homeschooling now."

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