Last night, A and I ventured to the TKTS line in TimesSquarelandia.

Me: Hi. Do you have tickets for Spamalot?
TKTS Guy: No. You have to go to their box office.
Me: Okay. Do you have tickets for Avenue Q?
TKTS Guy: Yes. $70 each.
Me: Okay. Do you have tickets for RFK?
TKTS Guy: Yes. $32 each.
Me: And I'd have to go downtown, right by CBGB's to see it. Hmmmm...Do you have tickets to The Producers?
TKTS Guy: Yes. Those cost a hundred million dollars.
Me: Um, I'll be back later.

This is what you do in New York if you can't get tickets anywhere. You go to the box office, of say, Spamalot, and say, "Hi. Do you have tickets?" To which the Box Office Guy inevitably replies, "Standing room tickets. But you needed to come at 3:12 a.m. before the cock's crow and stand in line for those."

Then someone will see you pathetically ask for tickets and get none. And that someone is called a professional tickets broker (i.e., a scalper guy with a license). And he will say, "Hey, lady, I can get you in for 140 bucks." His friend down the corner will maybe be yelling out "Spamalot tickets! 800 bucks!" And you will think, "Carpe Noctum!" and say, "Do you have a card? I want to make sure your tickets are legitimate." And he will give you a card, with a real area code. Because 1-800 numbers do not count. And you will reply, "But I only have 109 bucks in my pocket right now." And he will say, "Okay. The tickets are yours."

We liked Spamalot. A little too Hollywood-meets-Broadway, a little too Clear Channel Entertainment, for Monty Python fans, but it had me and A laughing so hard that we nearly, well, you know.


Liz said...

Oh my god, I can't believe you're writing about this the very day I've been trying to figure out how to get tickets to Spamalot for my son's 13th birthday in a month!!! after going to the Shubert Theater website and having a stroke from looking at the prices, going to ebay and having a heart attack, etc., I'm just about ready to say to my son, "Hey how's about doing something else instead?" (although I can't think of what)

We were going to go, we = my husband and I, son and 1 friend, but that would cost, what, $600??????

and without seeing it I had that Hollywood meets TV impression.

I'm glad you had a good time though!

Would you say what you actually paid? (I understand if you don't want to)

la Maitresse said...

$109.00 Just like my post says! E-mail me and I can give you further info. maitresse@gmail.com