While I wait for Pomona College and Duke U. to call me back...

...and will they call me back? Today before 4 p.m, please? I will say that I consider myself lucky to have met the man seated on the left of the picture here. Because he was in contention for this award. A proud expecting papa, he flexed his thespian muscle plenty for Brokeback Mountain.

Brokeback Mountain was difficult for me to watch - I am embarassingly "old school" when it comes to watching homosexuality on the screen (no, "Will & Grace" does not count, try "Maurice" instead). I look away when I see homosexual men cuddling or kissing or doing more. Ditto women. But something about the film resonated, when I didn't expect it to. I am playing the film score on my computer over and over to figure out what the thing was.

I cannot place my finger on it. Other than I do not yet have a mountain of my own. I should consider myself lucky if ever I find a love that brings me fulfillment, challenges, and integrity with who I am, and the same for the other person. It would be good to feel that fullness in my heart, which is a different one from the parental kind. Sometimes New York City - despite its millions of people, many who are equally searching, I think - can be as lonely as that dusty road in the film.

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