This book.
On forged excuse notes -
The drawer was filled with samples of American talent never mentioned in song, story or scholarly study. How could I have ignored this treasure trove, these gems of fiction, fantasy, creativity, crawthumping, self-pity, family problems, boilers exploding, ceilings collapsing, fires sweeping whole blocks, babies and pets pissing on homework, unexpected births, heart attacks, strokes, miscarriages, robberies? Here was American high school writing at its best - raw, real, urgent, lucid, brief, lying:
Arnold doesn't have his work today because he was getting off the train yesterday and the door closed on his school bag and the train took it away. He yelled to the conductor who said very vulgar things as the train drove away. Something should be done.
His sister's dog ate his homework and I hope it chokes him.
Her baby brother peed on her story when she was in the bathroom this morning.
A man died in the bathtub upstairs and it overflowed and messed up all Roberta's homework on the table.
Her brother got mad at her and threw her essay out the window and it flew away all over Staten Island which is not a good thing because people will read it and get the wrong impression unless they read the ending which explains everything.
He had the composition you told him to write but he was going over it on the ferry and a big wind came and blowed it away.
We were evicted from our apartment and the mean sheriff said if my son kept yelling for his notebook he'd have us all arrested.
They didn't know that honest excuse notes from parents were usually dull. "Peter was late because the alarm clock did not go off." A note like that didn't even merit a place in the trash can.
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